I'm BACK! but not only for good, you know...

Well, as the title says, I'm back.

But not only for good.

Yes, I'm back to annoy you with my rambling rantings and annoying antics, and that's all well and good, BUT! I've seen a huge downfall too. I'll start at the beginning.

In may I met a realy cute girl. we ended up together, but it's over now. I just felt that we didn't have anything to talk about or anything in common at all, and I just can't be with someone I don't have the right feelings for. Sure, they were there in the beginning, but they kinda...thinned out as time went on. So I broke up with her in July. Thing is: She's pregnant. And yes, it's my kid.

To be frank, I'm not too sure how to deal with this, but I guess I'll just have to wing it and hope for the best.

Next up, I had a kinda fight with a dear old friend, and he decides that we're not friends anymore. Now that sucks. Friends for 10 years and *BAM* it's "over". Funny thing that.

Now, a couple weeks later, everything seems fine. We're more or less back at where we were before the "fight", which is all well and good, and it makes me happy.

The 3'rd and last part of this 3 month chapter is this: I've fallen in love with another girl...again...It's not the first time I've fallen in love with her. I think it's more like...the 4'th time, to be honest. Thing is, we have this connection. A very, VERY strong connection that seems to survive anything at all. I fell in love with her a few days after we met the first time, almost 6 years ago now, but then some shit came in the way, and we couldn't do anything about it. Then I fell in love with her a year after that, but by then I had gotten myself a girlfriend, so that time it was a no-go. Then, 2 years later, after almost 2 years of "radio-silence" between us, I fell in love with her again, after just talking to her a bit on MSN and the phone. Yeah, I know, it sounds crazy and stupid and whatnot, but it's the God given Truth, with a CAPITAL T! At the time, I was still with the girlfriend i had 2 years earlier, so it was kind of a no-go that time too. and now, I'm single, she's not, I've fallen in love with her again, and this time stronger than the last 3 times. Now, I DON'T believe in fate. Not even an eensy-teensy bit. But with her it's different. I truly believe that we are made for one another, that we are destined to live our lives together etc. I can't describe the feelings I have for her or the sadness I feel when thinking of her with another guy. It really hurts. It really, REALLY hurts.

In any case, She's loved me too before, and I hope she can do so, unconditionally, again, as I love her. But I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

All this shit has made my generally happy and carefree life miserable. Yes, I know I'm just complaining and ranting, but hey, isn't that what blogs are for?

In any case, I'll keep you updated throughout this ordeal.

Cya's.