The yellow liquid

I woke up this morning, tired as hell, and with a bladder that threatened to burst.
As I stumbled out of bed and walked half blind into the bathroomm out of the corner of my eye I saw something.
I turned and saw it was just my image in the mirror, but I was sure I had seen someone else there a second before. I forget about it and line myself up with the toilet, and while revelling in the pleasure of the yellow liquid leaving my body, I see it again, out of the corner of my eye. I turn my head and see nothing, but I got goosebumps on my arms and I feel shivers running down my arms. What's going on?

Later that day I sit by my computer (SHOCK!!), and again I see something just outside of my vision. I turn around as fast as I can, but there's nothing there! What's going on? Am I going mad? NO! That can't be it!
I stop, turn back to my computer and keep playing my game. After a while it happens again, but i keep sitting still, and the image stays. I try t ofocus on it, slowly. At last I can see it. It's a syringe with a yellow liquid in it, and I recognize it! But where have I seen it before? Where? Think, think, God Damn it!!

It comes to me, like a steel pipe hitting a watermelon it crushes my train of thought. It's the syringe the veterinary use when my dear Zaba, my pure-bred German Sheperd dog.
She got sick, and the vets said they couldn't cure it. It crushed me, it destroyed me and I wanted to just fall down and cry my heart out.
I stood by the table as the vet tranquilized her, and I held her head when the vet injected her with the yellow liquid. I felt her go limp in my hands and I finally couldn't keep it in any longer. I broke down and cried and cried and I didn't want to let her go, but I had to, at long last. I can still feel her soft fur in my hands when i close my eyes, and I cansee her playfully catching the ball I threw for her. I remember when she came and laid her head on my lap when she wanted attention. But most of all I remember the love in her eyes before the vet tranquilized her. I think she knew. I thinks she somehow knew it would be the last time she saw me and wanted to show me how much she loved me.

God, I miss her. I can't stop the tears from rolling when I think about her, even though it's been years. I want her back. I'd give anything to get her back.

Zaba, my dear, sweet furball, I still love you. I hope you know, wherever you are.


I miss you <3