Daddy no more,,,

Jah, da ska æ visst ikke bli pappa likevel.

Blei desverre spontanabbort på ho, å d e jo bare helt jævli.

Æ ante ikke ka æ sku jøre når æ fikk beskjeden. Æ blei helt nummen i hele kroppen å holdt på å knekke sammen midt på city. Æ hadde så løst å bare sætte mæ på ræv å gi opp dær å da, pga all dritten som har skjedd i d siste. Men æ kunne ikke. Æ må være sterk å æ må fortsette å gi alt æ har for å klare mæ å for å støtte Karro.

D e natrlig nok mye værre for ho enn for mæ. Probleme e at æ ikke vet helt ka æ ska si el gjøre. D e jo ingenting æ kan si eller jøre. D hær kan æ trygt si e nåt av d jævligste æ har opplevd i hele mitt liv.

Faen at ting aldri kan gå bra!

Hihi.

Fant denna på en profil på nettby og syns den va så bra at æ bare måtte stjæle dn å legge dn ut hær. Creds til Cluless på Nettby for å (kanskje) ha laga den.

Gal
Person med alternativt virkelighetsbilde
Prostituert
Utøver av økonomisk kompensert kroppskontakt.
Halshugging
Kirurgisk isolering av hode.
Drosjesjåfør
Urban transportspesialist
Flykræsj
Uplanlagt kontak mellom fly og bakke
Søppelforbrening
Termobehandling av avfall
Støv
Luftbårne partikler
Musefelle
Innretning for eliminasjon av gnagere
Død

• Negativt pasientbehandlingsutfall
• Mortalitetsopplevelse
• Ikkeoppnåelse av ens velferdspotensial

Pedofili
Intergenerasjonell intimitet
Tjuvgods
Temporært misplasserte eiendeler.
Overfall
Privatisert inntektsfordeling på gateplan i storbyene
Skallet
Hårmessig misbegunstiget
Narkoman

• Offer for habituelt behov for kjemiske substrat
• Person med særskilt farmasøytisk preferanse

Feit

• Kalorimessig misbegunstiget
• Gravitasjonsmessig utfordret person
• Annerledes utformet

Nødsituasjon
Ikke-rutinemessig hendelse
Innlagt på sinnsykehus
Konsument av psykiatriske helsetjenester
Gamling

• Gerontologisk avansert
• Kronologisk begunstiget medmenneske

Idioti
Intuitivt kontraproduktiv atferd
Dritings
Å være i en lite resoneringsdyktig tilstand.
Budsjettkutt
Intern budsjettreallokering
Slum
Substandard bomiljø
Offentlig sløsing
Eksessiv ressursbruk
Pervers
Seksuelt dysfunksjonell
Evneveik
Annerledes kognitivt utfordret
Inkompetent
Annerledes kvalifisert
Feil
Logisk på en annen måte
Lat
Motivatorisk misbegunstiget
Uærlig
Etisk forvirret

Sooo...

Æ fikk et skikkeli deppe-anfall i går kveld. Bynnte å grine, klarte ikek stoppe, alt va bare helt jævli, hadde mest løst å krype under en stein å dø...
Men d gikk over etterhvert.
Mye pga god hjelp fra goe venna. Tusen takk t dåkker som va dær å sa fine ting. D hjalp virkelig.
Æ e sykt gla i dåkker, bare så dåkker vet d.

Æ fikk åsså to av de fineste meldingan æ nån gang har fådd igår, å dem hjalp mer enn mange andre ting kunne gjort. Men så kom dem fra en veldig spesiell person åsså. Æ e mer gla i dn hær person enn i nån andre æ kjenne, å sånn kommer d t å fortsette å være ^^
Huff, at ting alltid ska være så vanskelig :s

Anyways!
I dag e humøre på topp å bedre ska d bli. Etter jobb e d nok litt traving på city før æ stikke heim å rødde å tørke "litt" støv. Cuteness ska komme innom en tur seinar, å vi ska se Hannibal Lecter filman. D blir bra :D

Guh...må vel jobbe litt nu.
Cyas!

I'm an idiot :D

Yeah, you got it right! i'm a fucking idiot sometimes.

Allways hoping for the best and expecting the worst.

This sunday, a friend told me she thinks I'm depressing. WTF?

How am I depressing? How can others be depressed by me? I'm almost always happy, god damnit :p

Anyways, I'm in a good mood now, despite all the shite I've been through the last couple of weeks.

I guess it might be because i've changed my thinking from "never gonan happen" till "It WILL happen eventually". Damn, I'm good! ;)

now come on over and gimme a hug!

that goes for the girlies, not the guys ;)

And once again...

My hopes and dreams was shattered. Destroyed in an instant.

I was hoping she'd choose me, but at the same time I knew that she wouldn't.

People never choose me. For anything, much less love.

It boggles my mind, shatters my heart and rips my soul apart.

I'm still totally sure that she's the one for me. That she's the one I'm gonna spend my life with.

I just need to get the timing right, and therein lies the problem.

For some reason we (me and her) allways get in touch with these feelings when it's the most unsuitable time.

Seemed like it would work this time though. Seemed like everything was finally adding up to the answer I wanted.

But no.

I don't blame her though. I don't blame anyone.

I'll just have to get a grip on myself again and start using my head again, cuz my heart's been broken like a glass bowl dropped on a stone.

I'll just pick up the broken pieces of my heart and hope someone somewhere can fix it.

And I'll try to piece my soul together again and pray it'll never happen again. Although I know it will...

Now, I wanna dedicate these lines from the song "Here Without You" by 3 doors down, to her.

I'm here without you baby

But you're still on my lonely mind

I think a bout you baby

And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby

But you're still with me in my dreams

And tonight it's only you and me

I still love yo, baby. I always will...

I'M GONNA BE A FATHER!!!!

Yeah, you read it right. I'm gonna be a friggin FATHER!

Man, it's scary and wonderful at the same damn time. Some days I don't even know where to turn when I think about it.

Oh, how I'll take care of the little bugger when s/he comes into this world.

I'm sooooo looking forward to it.

Ofc, there are conciderations to be made, plans to plan and money to save, but it'll all work out somehow.

And I'm determined that I'm gonan be a good father.

Man, I'm so excited!! I Just Can't Hide It!!

I'm BACK! but not only for good, you know...

Well, as the title says, I'm back.

But not only for good.

Yes, I'm back to annoy you with my rambling rantings and annoying antics, and that's all well and good, BUT! I've seen a huge downfall too. I'll start at the beginning.

In may I met a realy cute girl. we ended up together, but it's over now. I just felt that we didn't have anything to talk about or anything in common at all, and I just can't be with someone I don't have the right feelings for. Sure, they were there in the beginning, but they kinda...thinned out as time went on. So I broke up with her in July. Thing is: She's pregnant. And yes, it's my kid.

To be frank, I'm not too sure how to deal with this, but I guess I'll just have to wing it and hope for the best.

Next up, I had a kinda fight with a dear old friend, and he decides that we're not friends anymore. Now that sucks. Friends for 10 years and *BAM* it's "over". Funny thing that.

Now, a couple weeks later, everything seems fine. We're more or less back at where we were before the "fight", which is all well and good, and it makes me happy.

The 3'rd and last part of this 3 month chapter is this: I've fallen in love with another girl...again...It's not the first time I've fallen in love with her. I think it's more like...the 4'th time, to be honest. Thing is, we have this connection. A very, VERY strong connection that seems to survive anything at all. I fell in love with her a few days after we met the first time, almost 6 years ago now, but then some shit came in the way, and we couldn't do anything about it. Then I fell in love with her a year after that, but by then I had gotten myself a girlfriend, so that time it was a no-go. Then, 2 years later, after almost 2 years of "radio-silence" between us, I fell in love with her again, after just talking to her a bit on MSN and the phone. Yeah, I know, it sounds crazy and stupid and whatnot, but it's the God given Truth, with a CAPITAL T! At the time, I was still with the girlfriend i had 2 years earlier, so it was kind of a no-go that time too. and now, I'm single, she's not, I've fallen in love with her again, and this time stronger than the last 3 times. Now, I DON'T believe in fate. Not even an eensy-teensy bit. But with her it's different. I truly believe that we are made for one another, that we are destined to live our lives together etc. I can't describe the feelings I have for her or the sadness I feel when thinking of her with another guy. It really hurts. It really, REALLY hurts.

In any case, She's loved me too before, and I hope she can do so, unconditionally, again, as I love her. But I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

All this shit has made my generally happy and carefree life miserable. Yes, I know I'm just complaining and ranting, but hey, isn't that what blogs are for?

In any case, I'll keep you updated throughout this ordeal.

Cya's.